In Psalm 27:4, David wrote:
"One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in His temple."
Last night, at my church's revival meeting, the first preacher used that is one of his verses. He was talking about how, when we first enter into a relationship with Christ, it is a need based movement. We NEED a Saviour. We NEED Him to come to our aid, our rescue. But our relationship cannot always be need based; it needs to move towards being a desire based relationship.
For example: When you have a child, that baby is at first so dependent on you. You may have a desire to spend time with that child, but at first the child can only take, and never give anything back. As the child develops, and that relationship is established, a desire builds on the part of the child as well. Even young babies can begin to recognize their mothers, and smile and coo because they are happy to see them. Children will always need something from their parents, but really, as the children become independent adults, they spend time with their parents because they want to (for the most part... some people never stop leeching off of their parents).
It's a very natural process to go from a need based to a desire based relationship. But so often Christians, including myself, get stuck in the need based part of our relationship with God. Every time we talk to Him, we are asking Him for more and more things. "God, my husband needs a job," "Please provide a new place for us to live," "More than anything, Lord, I want a baby." There are the kinds of things that have come out of my heart recently. After 18 years of being a child of God, I feel like I've never moved past the infant stage. Recently, I've been yearning so much to find a way to go home. I haven't been there in almost 2 years. There is so much desire there. I don't NEED to go home, but I deeply long for it.
I want to be like the Psalmist. I want to deeply desire God's presence, not just what presents I think He should give me! He's not a genie in a bottle, and He's not Santa Claus.
I go for a doctor's appointment in less than an hour. I know that no matter the outcome, if AF comes today or tomorrow or not for another 9 months, God will be with me. I will see His presence and His will, not my own.