I've been pretty down in the dumps the last couple of days. Today is CD16, and no sign of ovulation yet. My temp was up a little bit this morning, but one of our fans stopped working last night so I think it is due to that. I did spot a little bit of EWCM this morning when I checked my cervix, but then later when I checked I just got watery CM. And that's kind of how the last couple of days have been. I'll have signs of ovulation, like a high cervix (yesterday it was softer too...), or very mild cramping feelings, but no temp confirmation, and nothing close to a positive OPT. I was really starting to get stressed about it, but then I would feel guilty because the stress might delay ovulation and it might just be a vicious cycle. That would stress me out more. Lol.
This morning though, as I was checking my cervix, I realized that I should be focusing on the postives. Here are some ways in which I have been blessed:
I may not ovulate this month, but I am taking steps towards pregnancy and focusing on fixing my fertility issues.
I have the resources to move forward with things. And when I don't, God provides. Yesterday I found out that the hospital wrote off the $700+ bill for my first round of bloodwork. I go on the 8th for more, and they will cover that as well.
We (DH and I) are now a two full-income family. That is not our long-term plan, but it is a blessing right now as we can save more money in preparation for our plans for a family. Sometimes though, I need a reminder that my job is a blessing ;)
I am alive in the 21st century. 100 years ago, I wouldn't have nearly as many options to deal with my infertility. Now, more than ever, infertile women have increased chances of carrying their own child to term.
Not only am I alive in the 21st century, but I am in a highly devoloped country. I have access to good medical care, good nutrition, clean water, and as much information as I can absorb as I pursue a healthy pregancy.
I've never had a miscarriage that I know of. This may change one day, and if it does, I pray I can see God's plan and purpose in it. But for now, I am blessed to have never gone through that pain. Not being able to get pregnant is a struggle in and of itself. If I knew I could GET pregnant, but was struggling to carry a child to full term it would be that much harder.
This is just a short list of blessings. I'm blessed in so many more ways... more than I can count. But in learning to be content, I need to focus on what I have been blessed with instead of taking it for granted and always wanting more!